Lessons Learned
You know those moments where you are so far down and you don't know how you will ever get back up? And all you can think about is how horrible you feel, but then you see a tiny ray of light and you realize that you are the luckiest person in the world because all of a sudden you realize how much you've grown through the whole horrible experience?
I just had this experience. I was depressed and in tears over something I did the night before. The thing is, I did what I did because of friends and I realized that if I'd done things the way I wanted to, rather than listening to them things would have turned out a whole lot better. I realized that I tend to rely on my friend's opinions more than my own thoughts and feelings. I ignore myself in favor of what my friends say, and that's not exactly a good thing. My friends don't know what I'm going through or what situation I'm in, no matter how much I tell them they'll never fully understand the situation as well as I do. They're biased, and although I am as well I still understand more than they ever can. I'm my best advisor. Me, and Heavenly Father.
And while I was in tears I kept thinking about how I just wanted to get away, and I realized that this is exactly what I'd been accused of in the past. Running away when things got hard. And besides, where would I run? I'm happiest right where I am, no matter how hard things get. I belong here, I can feel it. Right then and there, I decided to stop running and start accepting the consequences of my own actions. I didn't have to listen to my friends, and do what they told me I should do. I had a choice, and I'm responsible for my own actions whether good or bad.
For everything we do, there is a consequence, whether good or bad and I have to own up to them. So, whether for good or bad, that is exactly what I'm going to do. With help from Heavenly Father, and friends who care for me, I will become a better person one step at a time. It won't happen over night, but I will work to become the best person I can possibly be. I just hope that one day I'll be the woman the man of my dreams would be attracted to. And that one day I will somehow learn to be happy despite everything going on in my life, because outside factors should never determine how I feel about life. I can't control them, but I can control how I react to them.
So, for better or for worse, I will change.
<3Claire
I just had this experience. I was depressed and in tears over something I did the night before. The thing is, I did what I did because of friends and I realized that if I'd done things the way I wanted to, rather than listening to them things would have turned out a whole lot better. I realized that I tend to rely on my friend's opinions more than my own thoughts and feelings. I ignore myself in favor of what my friends say, and that's not exactly a good thing. My friends don't know what I'm going through or what situation I'm in, no matter how much I tell them they'll never fully understand the situation as well as I do. They're biased, and although I am as well I still understand more than they ever can. I'm my best advisor. Me, and Heavenly Father.
And while I was in tears I kept thinking about how I just wanted to get away, and I realized that this is exactly what I'd been accused of in the past. Running away when things got hard. And besides, where would I run? I'm happiest right where I am, no matter how hard things get. I belong here, I can feel it. Right then and there, I decided to stop running and start accepting the consequences of my own actions. I didn't have to listen to my friends, and do what they told me I should do. I had a choice, and I'm responsible for my own actions whether good or bad.
For everything we do, there is a consequence, whether good or bad and I have to own up to them. So, whether for good or bad, that is exactly what I'm going to do. With help from Heavenly Father, and friends who care for me, I will become a better person one step at a time. It won't happen over night, but I will work to become the best person I can possibly be. I just hope that one day I'll be the woman the man of my dreams would be attracted to. And that one day I will somehow learn to be happy despite everything going on in my life, because outside factors should never determine how I feel about life. I can't control them, but I can control how I react to them.
So, for better or for worse, I will change.
<3Claire
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