Between The Lines Of Life

Love. That strange magic everyone always talks about. The kind of magic people actually believe in, rather than magical... magic... Ahem... Anyway, I'm not sure if I've ever been in love. However, recently I was discussing my writing habits with a new friend. My mom and my aunt both write romance almost exclusively so I've grown up around romance books. I never thought I'd be any good at it, because I've never been in love. But I've always wanted to try my hand at it. I've always thought I had a romance or two in me, but I just didn't feel qualified to write it,  you know? Well, this friend told me to go for it, so I thought I'd kick myself off by writing about my first love/kiss. I wouldn't say it was love. We were really good friends. I really liked him. I think I could have grown to love him, given time. We met the summer following my first official year of college, my second if you count the first unofficial year: Summer 2012. The f...

Well, I'm not sure who even reads this blog, but a friend of mine talked about how he has been avoiding his blog and I realized I haven't written in a while, so I thought I should write something awe-inspiring. However, I'm not that awe-inspiring so I'll probably just update y'all on what I'm doing with my life, or something... Not much has been going on lately. Just school. However, I do have some exciting news- I'm walking next month. I just took some awesome pictures with a friend who is a photographer. Also, end of April or beginning of May I am going to Mexico for the summer. I'll be getting back to the US in August. I'm super excited but really nervous! After that, I'll only have one last class to take here at BYU-Idaho and then I'll be moving to Utah. Honestly, I'm not sure how things will turn out, but I'm excited to see where my life leads. I've made so many amazing life-long friends here at school and I can't wai...

By Claire Enos Life has a way of tearing you down until you don't think you can take any more, lifting you back up, and then bringing you down farther than before just to bring you up higher than you've ever been. Lately, my life has been a roller coaster ride. This whole year has been one long ride of ups and downs. Despite everything, I try to stay as positive as possible. I've been at my absolute worst and had people come up to me and say I make them smile because I always seem to be so happy. So, how do I do it? Well, sometimes I don't even know how. But, I'll try to share some of my favorite remedies for a happy and positive outlook: Music - Music is one of the best remedies of all time. All it takes is one good uplifting song and suddenly I can't be upset anymore. I just have to keep moving forward and put on a smile. Strange how that works. Amazing Friends - I have an amazing group of friends! Some, I talk to about anything and they always seem to ...

By Claire Enos I love birthdays. I love everything about them! I love turning a new age, I love the newness of it all. And I love the fact that my birthday is a day that's all about me. But, this year I turned 24. That's a big number. Especially for someone who is still in college, and not even dating anyone. So, today for my English Writing Seminar I read a short story by Sherwood Anderson called "Sophistication". The quote that stuck out to me follows: "With all his heart he wants to come close to some other human, touch someone with his hands, be touched by the hand of another. If he prefers that the other be a woman, that is because he believes that a woman will be gentle, that she will understand. He wants, most of all, understanding." This stuck out to me because it somehow struck home in my heart. It touched on a part of my soul. I can wait, I'm patient, but what I'm searching for most of all is someone to understand me. Someone who wil...

I was going through Pinterest posts and came across a 30 Day Challenge called: 30 Days of Inspiration. Since I hadn't posted on this blog in a while (I've been busy focusing on other blogs lately), I thought I'd do the challenge on this blog. So, the first challenge is: "Be the magic. In what ways can you be the magic in your life and the lives of others?" I think the best and easiest and hardest way (yes it can be all three) is just by being myself. I can be the magic by being myself and not changing who I am for anyone else but me. I think a lot of times we are scared to be ourselves because we're afraid we'll lose our friends, but if a friend is scared away by you being yourself they aren't really a true friend. So, be yourself, no matter what. Find out what being yourself means to you. And then just do it. <3Claire

By Claire Enos I can feel it. I can feel the tugging from all directions. The random comments from friends saying I need to do this or that. The comments from people I don't know saying that a woman needs to do this or that. "Get a job." "Finish your schooling." "Don't worry about dating." "Get a good Career." "Take care of yourself." "Pay off those loans." "No one wants to marry someone in debt." "Choose a better major, you won't be able to get a good career with that one." And, for some reason, I listen. I begin to change my view on life and the things that make me who I am. I start making plans to finish school, go on a mission, go back to school, and work in between. I start worrying about my loans because somehow it might keep me from falling in love and marrying some man I might meet in the future. My whole focus begins to change, from my spiritual goals to my material goals. ...

By Claire Enos A year ago, I never would have imagined that I would be where I am today. Sitting here, blogging, making plans for my future, based on other events that happened to me within the last year which I definitely would not have imagined as well. In fact, I could write a whole post about everything that happened and I still wouldn't be able to cover the whole year. But, this isn't about reminiscing. It's about saying goodbye to my past. Shutting the lid on the 2013 box, and shoving it into the closet. Maybe I'll look back on it one day and laugh, or at the very least smile, remembering all that happened. But for now, it's over and it's time for me to move on. My friend JG and me a little over a year ago, before he left on his mission. I'm going to open a new box. I already have a few things to put into this new box, so I better make it a big one because I plan to put a lot more into that box. I'm going to write 2014 on it, and it's ...

By Claire Enos Past the hurtful words and the insincere remarks is someone hurting, deep inside. The hurtful words and insincere remarks just a barrier. A brick wall if you will, built to protect a broken heart, as it is repaired, painstakingly, over weeks, months, possibly years. And while the heart waits to be completely healed, by the loving touch of one who cares, it can only be taped up waiting for the repairman to show up and take charge. There are still cracks, but maybe-- just maybe-- the heart that has been broken can be repaired, with the hard work of the owner, and a lot of tape. Still, the cracks will show. Some of the heart crumbling from further blows, until it is fortified, not with a wall, but with a glue gun and magic. Slow, calculated magic, here and there, where needed. Until eventually, miraculously, all has been healed. Meanwhile, through the whole process, life has continued on. And the owner, not able to spend every moment working on the heart, must conti...

By Claire Enos As I was reading an article  on seeing past the outward appearances and seeing each other as God sees each of us, I was filled with joy that there are people out there who are compassionate and willing to look past the ugly outside to see the good inside. However, as I read through some of the comments at the end of the article, I was filled with sadness. As people, none of us are perfect. We all have imperfections. My mom can't spell very well, I know people with atrocious grammar (and I'm no where near perfect on that front either). However, my mom and my friends are among the smartest people I know. They've gone to school, some of them have degrees in various areas or are working on getting degrees. It saddens me to know that these people who are very smart are judged based on how poorly they spell or how horrible their grammar is. As an English major I understand the importance of spelling and grammar, and how they can affect how a person is seen. I...

By Claire Enos It's 9/11 again. Never again will that date trigger absolutely nothing, not since that date 12 years ago, when those terrorists attacked our land and brought the death and destruction to us. But I didn't sit down here today in order to write yet another post about 9/11 and how sad it is, and how proud I am to be an American. Nor did I sit down to write about countless other things I could most definitely write full blogs on, such as this article  on humor and anti-mormon jokes, or Obama and Syria, or even racism in general and this video . No, today I sat down to write something that is important in my life right now. So, as I sit down I meditate on how I may find the right words to express those feelings that impress me most about my summer and what I learned is most important to me at this point in my life. I pray to God that I may touch at least one heart with what I have to say. If there is one thing I have learned this summer, it's that no one can ju...

I have a confession, and many of you already know, but many of you don't: I'm not perfect. I'm not some little Mormon girl who just follows all the rules perfectly and without complaint. If I allowed myself, I'd wear quite a few immodest outfits, and as it is my clothes are right on the border. In fact, I've been told as much before. That is one weakness I'm not ashamed to admit. I have another confession: I don't believe that reading into other religions is horrible. In fact, I do so for fun! I've often believed that if I weren't Mormon, I would definitely be either Buddhist or Wiccan (not necessarily in that order). I believe that many of their guidelines on life and the world around us go right alongside my own beliefs. In fact, I research their practices and beliefs and test them out once in a while, just for fun. Yet another confession: I actually follow horoscopes. Not because I believe they are true, but because they are fun and interestin...

I started this blog a few years ago to write up my feelings and thoughts on life. Lately I haven't really used it for my feelings or my thoughts or anything. I'm going to try starting that up again, so here goes: I'm a normal girl. I don't know who I am, or where I'm going, except what I've been told. I do know that 2+2=4 (don't ask me why, I don't understand that much) and I do know that the stars we see at night most likely have already died, so essentially we are seeing into the past when we look up into the universe. But that's not much, I know that. And it is our duty to learn as much as possible in this life down here on Earth. Life is hard. Everyone knows that. There are some people who seem to have mastered the art of living ("seem" being the operative term here), and there are others (like me) who barely know how to take one step at a time and somehow seem to mess everything up without thinking (because they aren't thinking...

I've been having a really hard time lately, and while it's been one of the worst weeks ever, this summer so far is one of my favorite summers for as long as I can remember. They just keep getting better and better as the years go by. However, this last week has given way to depression and other problems, so I compiled this list of Things I Believe. I thought I'd share it with you, my readers. Thanks for being there for me! What Do I Believe? I believe that everything happens for a reason I believe that I control my destiny I believe that my decisions are mine to make, mistake or not I believe that all people are placed in my path to teach me a lesson, good or bad I believe that sometimes I just need to take a step back, reevaluate, decide whether I'm on the right path, correct or move on based the decision I believe that sometimes what is best for me isn't always the easiest decision to make. But it's still mine to make or ignore, unless others are inv...

You know those moments where you are so far down and you don't know how you will ever get back up? And all you can think about is how horrible you feel, but then you see a tiny ray of light and you realize that you are the luckiest person in the world because all of a sudden you realize how much you've grown through the whole horrible experience? I just had this experience. I was depressed and in tears over something I did the night before. The thing is, I did what I did because of friends and I realized that if I'd done things the way I wanted to, rather than listening to them things would have turned out a whole lot better. I realized that I tend to rely on my friend's opinions more than my own thoughts and feelings. I ignore myself in favor of what my friends say, and that's not exactly a good thing. My friends don't know what I'm going through or what situation I'm in, no matter how much I tell them they'll never fully understand the situation ...

Childhood dreams. Who hasn't had one? No one that I know. Recently I've been thinking about my biggest childhood dream. I always wanted to be 16, so that I could start dating and find the right guy and be married between 19 and 20. Mostly I wanted this because I wanted to have someone to take care of me like in all the stories. I just kinda figured this is the way life is meant to be. Apparently not for me though. I am now 19, and I've only been on one date, because I asked the guy. So it certainly doesn't look my dream will be coming true. But surprisingly I'm not as opposed to this idea as I thought I would be. I need time to figure out who I am in life and college is one place where I can. I'm almost finished with applying to BYU-I and I really hope I get in. If I do then I can see what its like to live on my own without any parental figures making me do chores. See what its like to be my own person and find out who the heck I am. Let this be a fresh chapter ...

I'm going to start a blog using pictures. And maybe sometimes words. Who knows? But if you see this I hope you like it, but remember I'm not doing this blog for anyone but myself. This is my deal. Me Now: