5 Tips for Lasting Relationships

Recently, something has been weighing heavily on my mind, and I felt the need to lighten my load. This blog is one way that I have been able to do that in the past, so I am again coming back to it. Today, I'm going to talk relationships. Now, I'm sure I don't have as much experience as many of my friends. However, I have had some experience, and even some is better than none. So, here are a few tips for you as you embark on a relationship:
1. Don't stress. Whoever your significant other is, you already know they like you, and I sure hope you feel the same for them. So, what I'm trying to say is: you don't need to impress them! They're already impressed. You just need to be yourself. If they are the one for you, they will love you no matter what.
2. Take all relationship advice (including and especially mine) knowing that it might not be right for you and your significant other. After all, we all have different experiences. My first relationship was different from my second and so on. A personal experience where taking advice ruined a relationship of mine:


I was at a church activity and the guy I kind of liked was there and we spent the whole night flirting from across the room. He’d look at me and I’d happen to look up at the same time and then I’d quickly look away while smiling. This went on most of the night. Then, when he was close enough to me that he could talk to me without yelling, he asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him after the activity. I readily agreed, I was excited to spend time with him alone! After the activity we had pizza and soda and everyone started leaving in small groups. But, he was still there talking to one of his friends. I ended up leaving with my cousin when her mom came to pick us up, hoping he would text me when he was home.


He didn’t text me until well after midnight. I was really upset, because I’d been looking forward to spending time with him! I told my cousin and my best friend who was hanging out with me and they gave me some advice. I don’t remember what advice they gave me, but I remember the guy I had a crush on wasn’t happy and that was the start of our troubles.


What I’m trying to say is, your friends and your family don’t understand every single detail of your relationship. After all, they aren’t IN your relationship. It’s okay to take advice from people, just remember that sometimes the best advice you can take is the advice you give yourself.
3. Avoid discussing relationship problems with friends and family. This is a hard one. It’s natural to want to talk to people about your problems. We want to feel validated in how we are feeling. And believe me, I have this problem as much as the next person. However, I think it’s important to always remember that no matter how mad you are at your significant other right in this moment, you still care deeply for them and you want your friends and family to like him/her as well. The more you talk about the negative parts of your relationship with others, the more they won’t like him/her. After all, you aren’t telling them the positive things, just the negative! So, I’d like to issue a challenge:


Always speak positively about your boyfriend/girlfriend!
If you need to discuss something that is bothering you, first try to work it out in your head or in writing, then try working through it through prayer or meditation. After you have done those, then find someone whose advice you admire but who isn’t super close to you, and be completely honest about everything, including any issues that may or may not have been caused by you. And definitely talk to your significant other about what is bothering you. Because their opinion is the one that matters most. By taking these steps, most problems can be resolved fairly easily.
4. Follow your heart! This is the last advice my Uncle Neal gave me before he passed away. I am still working on figuring out how to do this. It’s a pretty vague term. After all, if you’ve never been in love how do you know if you are following your heart? My only advice here is that you’ll just know.


5. Always be honest! Nothing is worse than being in a relationship with someone, and knowing that they are hiding something from you. That they aren’t being completely honest. It feels like you’re walking under the shadow of a rain cloud. It’s not a pleasant feeling. And if you really care about your significant other you never want to make them feel that way, you want to make them the happiest they have ever been in the history of happiness. So, be honest. It’s the only real way you can make a relationship work.


Relationships take hard work. They take both partners being completely open and honest. They take both partners being 100% in the relationship. They take compromise.


And remember: Life is always going to be hard. And someone is always going to be upset by something you do. If your friends aren't happy that you are dating your significant other then by all means listen to what they have to say, and then decide if it really matters to you. If it doesn't matter to you, tell them to suck it up and accept that this person makes you happy!

Life is all about finding the JOY in everything you do! So, BE HAPPY!

<3Claire

Comments

  1. Konnie EnosMarch 27, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    All good advice except the last one. Sometimes if your best friend or closest family members don't like the person you think you're in love with they might be seeing something about that you're missing. Often friends and family of abuse victims realized the early signs of an abuser before any of them even knew that's what they didn't like about the person in question. I'm not saying it's abuse, it might just be that person isn't the right one for you but if those closest to you don't like the person you think you're in love with, it's a major red flag. Step back, take a really good close look at your relationships and the people they are with. Someone is the wrong person to be in your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ClaireMarch 27, 2015 at 1:45 PM

      Okay I see what you're getting at mom. I edited that part. You're right.

      Delete

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