Between The Lines Of Life

By Clarissa Enos Plagmann It has been 147 days since I started dating my wonderful husband, 109 days since I said yes to marrying him, and ten days since I said yes at the altar and forever altered my life by agreeing to love him for the rest of my life and into the eternities. It wasn't exactly an easy decision. After all, we moved quickly. I was hearing murmurs from people on both sides of the spectrum. Some were saying we were moving too quickly, others were congratulating us on knowing what was right. And in the back of my mind I wondered if I'd gone insane. But then I heard these four words: "Fear is a choice!" Those four words helped me to realize that those doubts I had were out of fear. Fear that it wouldn't work out, fear that I didn't really love him, fear that for whatever reason we'd fall out of love. It was then that I decided to substitute "Fear" for "Love." "Love is a choice!" It is! The chemic...

Love. That strange magic everyone always talks about. The kind of magic people actually believe in, rather than magical... magic... Ahem... Anyway, I'm not sure if I've ever been in love. However, recently I was discussing my writing habits with a new friend. My mom and my aunt both write romance almost exclusively so I've grown up around romance books. I never thought I'd be any good at it, because I've never been in love. But I've always wanted to try my hand at it. I've always thought I had a romance or two in me, but I just didn't feel qualified to write it,  you know? Well, this friend told me to go for it, so I thought I'd kick myself off by writing about my first love/kiss. I wouldn't say it was love. We were really good friends. I really liked him. I think I could have grown to love him, given time. We met the summer following my first official year of college, my second if you count the first unofficial year: Summer 2012. The f...

Life. Life has been so crazy and awesome and wonderful! I don't remember all of what I have said in past posts recently so I'll just give you a quick rundown of all that has happened to me in the last six months. Mexico. Mexico was so amazing! I absolutely loved it! My group was great and our kids were so cute. I can't wait to go back and visit Guanajuato state and see all my friends and the kids we used to teach! Oregon. I got back from Mexico on August 20th. I had a job interview on August 22nd. I heard back that I got the job August 23rd. I also flew out to Oregon on August 23rd, to see my family and drive back to Utah with my cousin. While I was there I cut my hair, saw some old friends, and just hung out with my family for a few days. We drove back to Utah on August 27th-28th with her best friend. It was a good trip. Utah. I started working August 29th. I love my job, and Utah is amazing. I learned to use the trax and buses. Writing. Well, I think that...

By Claire Enos In honor of being 24 and turning 25 this year, I decided to write a: "10 Books I Want to Read Before I'm 30" post. These are books that either I really want to read or that I've been told I should read. If you can think of any other books I should read, let me know!  The Princess Bride - This book made it onto this list because I don't like the movie. I know, that's a weird reason to put a book on my list. And, I know, that's crazy that I don't like The Princess Bride. The reason it's on my list is because my roommate says that the book is better than the movie, and knowing that to be true in most cases, I thought I'd give the book a try. I don't mind the story line after all, it's more about the videography.  Catcher in the Rye - This book is on my list because it's a classic and I never had to read it when I was in high school or even in any of my English classes. I thought I'd give it a try and see wh...

Well, I'm not sure who even reads this blog, but a friend of mine talked about how he has been avoiding his blog and I realized I haven't written in a while, so I thought I should write something awe-inspiring. However, I'm not that awe-inspiring so I'll probably just update y'all on what I'm doing with my life, or something... Not much has been going on lately. Just school. However, I do have some exciting news- I'm walking next month. I just took some awesome pictures with a friend who is a photographer. Also, end of April or beginning of May I am going to Mexico for the summer. I'll be getting back to the US in August. I'm super excited but really nervous! After that, I'll only have one last class to take here at BYU-Idaho and then I'll be moving to Utah. Honestly, I'm not sure how things will turn out, but I'm excited to see where my life leads. I've made so many amazing life-long friends here at school and I can't wai...

By Claire Enos 2015 has been great, I have done a lot. Other than nine weeks out of the year, I've been in school. However, in 2016 I will be GRADUATING. I'm so excited. And I recently applied to go teach kids English in another country (I'm hoping Mexico). I just applied for my passport, and I'm getting ready to finish paying everything off so I can go. That's why I've decided this year is a year for DREAMS. And FOLLOWING my dreams! So, rather than having a New Year's Resolution, I instead have two or three projects I am working on either by myself or with friends, and I am going to Mexico. Why not live this year! Truly LIVE. So, what are you hoping to accomplish this year? Happy New Year! <3Claire

By Claire Enos Life has a way of tearing you down until you don't think you can take any more, lifting you back up, and then bringing you down farther than before just to bring you up higher than you've ever been. Lately, my life has been a roller coaster ride. This whole year has been one long ride of ups and downs. Despite everything, I try to stay as positive as possible. I've been at my absolute worst and had people come up to me and say I make them smile because I always seem to be so happy. So, how do I do it? Well, sometimes I don't even know how. But, I'll try to share some of my favorite remedies for a happy and positive outlook: Music - Music is one of the best remedies of all time. All it takes is one good uplifting song and suddenly I can't be upset anymore. I just have to keep moving forward and put on a smile. Strange how that works. Amazing Friends - I have an amazing group of friends! Some, I talk to about anything and they always seem to ...

By Claire Enos I love birthdays. I love everything about them! I love turning a new age, I love the newness of it all. And I love the fact that my birthday is a day that's all about me. But, this year I turned 24. That's a big number. Especially for someone who is still in college, and not even dating anyone. So, today for my English Writing Seminar I read a short story by Sherwood Anderson called "Sophistication". The quote that stuck out to me follows: "With all his heart he wants to come close to some other human, touch someone with his hands, be touched by the hand of another. If he prefers that the other be a woman, that is because he believes that a woman will be gentle, that she will understand. He wants, most of all, understanding." This stuck out to me because it somehow struck home in my heart. It touched on a part of my soul. I can wait, I'm patient, but what I'm searching for most of all is someone to understand me. Someone who wil...

By Claire Enos I've been out of this scene for awhile, but I miss writing, so... here I am! Tonight is my last night in Oregon before I head back to school for my last year of college. My life has been pretty crazy lately. I originally planned on graduating in December, but some plans didn't work out and I still need a class after this semester, so I am postponing graduation until April 2016. I will also be turning 24 this year, and hopefully going to the temple sometime this semester. I will also be starting a couple pet projects of mine and hopefully still writing as well. There's more I would like to say but I will hold off for a week or two. Here are a few of the fun things I got to do this summer: Westover Family Reunion! I had tons of fun and met lots of family members that I'd only talked to online. It was a great time had by all, despite the sunburn. Overall best way to start my summer break! Road trip with my bestie! It was great, we traveled f...

Sunday found me sitting across from my Bishop, discussing my options. Actually, not even my options. I had already made the decision. We were discussing what my next step was. But, before I get into that, a little background might be helpful. Back in the summer of 2012 I was discussing the possibility of serving a mission. It was a vague thought in the back of my head, but it just didn't seem right. And maybe part of it was just that I was too scared to go. My excuse was that I didn't have the money and didn't want to burden my parents when they could barely afford to take care of my four younger siblings. In October 2012, a couple weeks before my 21st birthday, I went down to Utah over Conference weekend to visit my sister. Her friend offered us tickets to General Conference and since she'd never been we gladly took them. The tickets were for the Saturday morning session so we woke up early and walked a mile or two to the Conference Center. This session ended up be...

Recently, something has been weighing heavily on my mind, and I felt the need to lighten my load. This blog is one way that I have been able to do that in the past, so I am again coming back to it. Today, I'm going to talk relationships. Now, I'm sure I don't have as much experience as many of my friends. However, I have had some experience, and even some is better than none. So, here are a few tips for you as you embark on a relationship: 1. Don't stress. Whoever your significant other is, you already know they like you, and I sure hope you feel the same for them. So, what I'm trying to say is: you don't need to impress them! They're already impressed. You just need to be yourself. If they are the one for you, they will love you no matter what. 2. Take all relationship advice (including and especially mine) knowing that it might not be right for you and your significant other. After all, we all have different experiences. My first relationship wa...

So today I've been having prompting after prompting. They've been like nonstop all day. During my meetings it might have looked like I wasn't paying attention to what we were learning, but that's because I was too busy listening to what I needed to hear and writing everything down. However, in the midst of all this crazy spiritualness I kept getting bombarded with feelings of hurt and exhaustion and other emotions that weren't really conducive to the spiritual promptings I was getting. I was starting to feel a little down. So, I decided to take an impromptu walk in the gardens all by myself. For those of you familiar with the gardens, there's a part of the gardens near the Hinckley where there's a porch with two swings, and a doorway in between. If you go behind the doorway, there are two more benches on either side. I sat down on one of those and poured my heart and thoughts and feelings out to the Lord. I wasn't completely upset but I was definitel...

By Claire Enos I'm tired of people judging me because of the things I choose not to do. Things like not watching rated R movies, and not wearing that gorgeous white lace dress (not the one in my closet) because it doesn't cover my shoulders and probably won't cover my knees either, and even not drinking tea or coffee. These are standards I've grown up with, they are things I was taught at home and at church. However, I'm not forced to follow them. I can choose. See, in my church, we believe in agency. We believe we have the right to choose for ourselves what is right and what is wrong from the age of accountability (8) when we are baptized as members of our church. When we are eight, and are baptized as members, we make a covenant with God that we will follow the commandments and take his name upon us. That we will go forth as disciples and bring others to His light. We make a covenant that we will follow these standards so that we can one day be sealed to our E...

By Claire Enos I will admit, I haven't been very regular with my blog posts. I tend to write whenever I think about it or feel like it. If I'm going to be a good blogger I need to make a regular schedule and stick to it. So, here is my New Year's Resolution (which I've made before, but this time I swear it's going to work): Write and post a blog post every week for Winter semester. Winter semester is January 5th-April 10th. So, that's 14 blog posts. I can totally do this.  Write at least 500 words a day for a whole month. This is more of short-term goal (okay, so is number 1, but this one is shorter). I am trying to get in the habit of writing every day. If I want to be a serious writer, I need to do this. So, in keeping with the writing theme and my quote above, this one is about reading. Stephen King says a writer needs to read a lot, so for this one my goal is to read at least one book a month while I'm in school, and one book a week while I'...

I was going through Pinterest posts and came across a 30 Day Challenge called: 30 Days of Inspiration. Since I hadn't posted on this blog in a while (I've been busy focusing on other blogs lately), I thought I'd do the challenge on this blog. So, the first challenge is: "Be the magic. In what ways can you be the magic in your life and the lives of others?" I think the best and easiest and hardest way (yes it can be all three) is just by being myself. I can be the magic by being myself and not changing who I am for anyone else but me. I think a lot of times we are scared to be ourselves because we're afraid we'll lose our friends, but if a friend is scared away by you being yourself they aren't really a true friend. So, be yourself, no matter what. Find out what being yourself means to you. And then just do it. <3Claire

I started blogging when I was this girl: I've changed a lot though. When that picture was taken I was a soon-to-be high school graduate. I had a year of high school left. I was excited at my prospects in life. I hadn't yet discovered who I was. I thought I had everything figured out, but I didn't. Now, I'm this girl: Nearly 23, learning to accept myself for who I am. Learning that I don't have everything figured out, and even though I only have a year left of college I'm coming to accept that it's alright not to have everything figured out. I'm learning to accept my friends for who they are, and to tell the difference between friends I can count on, and friends who are only around for a season. I am learning what's important in life. I am learning to love. I am genuinely happy, and not just from moment to moment, but all the time. I was me. I am me. And I am becoming me. Past, Present, and Future: All are me! This, is what life is all a...

By Claire Enos I can feel it. I can feel the tugging from all directions. The random comments from friends saying I need to do this or that. The comments from people I don't know saying that a woman needs to do this or that. "Get a job." "Finish your schooling." "Don't worry about dating." "Get a good Career." "Take care of yourself." "Pay off those loans." "No one wants to marry someone in debt." "Choose a better major, you won't be able to get a good career with that one." And, for some reason, I listen. I begin to change my view on life and the things that make me who I am. I start making plans to finish school, go on a mission, go back to school, and work in between. I start worrying about my loans because somehow it might keep me from falling in love and marrying some man I might meet in the future. My whole focus begins to change, from my spiritual goals to my material goals. ...

By Claire Enos A year ago, I never would have imagined that I would be where I am today. Sitting here, blogging, making plans for my future, based on other events that happened to me within the last year which I definitely would not have imagined as well. In fact, I could write a whole post about everything that happened and I still wouldn't be able to cover the whole year. But, this isn't about reminiscing. It's about saying goodbye to my past. Shutting the lid on the 2013 box, and shoving it into the closet. Maybe I'll look back on it one day and laugh, or at the very least smile, remembering all that happened. But for now, it's over and it's time for me to move on. My friend JG and me a little over a year ago, before he left on his mission. I'm going to open a new box. I already have a few things to put into this new box, so I better make it a big one because I plan to put a lot more into that box. I'm going to write 2014 on it, and it's ...

By Claire Enos Pretty soon, I will be traveling to Mexico and Belize with some students and teachers from my school. This has been a dream of mine for years: to travel to places I've never been before! And I love learning about new cultures. Like many people, I have a list of things I want to do with my life, visiting Mexico is just one of the many things on that list. It feels so good knowing that soon it will be one I can cross off, and an experience I can add to my list of experiences. So, the other day I got to thinking, and decided that I needed a separate list of things to do in my life in case some of the things on the first list don't happen: like getting married and having kids, at least for now. So, my new list is as follows: Graduate with my Bachelor's Degree in Creative Writing from BYU-Idaho Pay off my loans and save up money for a Master's Degree Graduate with a Master's Degree in Theological and Cultural Anthropology, preferably from Eastern...

By Claire As I sat down to write this blog post, I realized that I had no idea how to start. I almost opened a new tab and googled how to start a blog post, then I realized that was exactly what I sat down to write about. My inability to think for myself. I've become so used to just having the internet at the tip of my fingers to turn to for "advice." Except I don't really go to google for advice, I go for how I should think. When did this happen? When did I give up thinking for myself in favor of having some super smart person think for me? The answer? I don't know. I don't know when my brain decided to switch off, only working at the lowest levels possible. You want to know why ? It happened gradually over the years. Suddenly, all those articles I read in my English 201 class make a lot more sense. The ones about deep reading, and about how the internet (while definitely having its good points) is slowly killing our deep reading and critical thinking s...